The most expense picture

So, L and I excitedly planned to get another snapshot of Wombie before the 22nd week visit - just to see whether Wombie's a boy/girl. That plan came to an abrupt end!
Doctor #1 conversation:
Me: Hi, I was wondering if my pregnant wife could get a scan to see if the baby's a boy or girl?
Them: How far along is she? --- (do you mean to the edge of sanity? pretty close!)
Me: (proudly) 17 weeks
Them: Sorry, doctor only does that scan around 24 weeks because of the possibility of making a mistake.
What??? Mistake??? It can't be that difficult. As I already observed; it's either there or it's not! So I asked the Oracle. Apparently it can be a problem, with some interesting comments:

HI, I AM 25 WEEKS PREGNANT AND UNSURE ON ULTRASOUND ACCURACY ON DETERMINING THE SEX OF MY BABY. I HAD 2 ULTRASOUNDS ONE AT 16 AND 19 WEEKS AND WAS TOLD MY BABY WAS A BOY. I WENT FOR ANOTHER ULTRASOUND AT 24 WEEKS AND THE TECH COULD NOT FIND A PENIS,SHE SAID IT WAS A GIRL.I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK! PLEASE HELP ME WITH WHATS MORE ACCURATE.

Sometimes they can mistaken the umbilical cord for a penis. - Lucky boy!

At my u/s at 18 weeks they said boy then again at 21 weeks boy again but I am getting lucky and my dr. is giving me another u/s here in an few weeks when I get to the 3 trim. I am 25 weeks now. My Sister in law was told a boy and she had a girl but you never know. - Hehe Hehe that must suck!

GIRLFRIEND - what's with the girlfriend here? too much like Jerry Springer I think -I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I WAS TOLD AT MY 18, 20, AND 30 WEEK ULTRASOUND THAT I WAS HAVING A GIRL. I JUST HAD ANOTHER ONE DONE AND I'M 30 WEEKS AND THE TECH. TOLD ME IT'S A BOY. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE PAINTED THE NURSERY PINK AND HAVE STARTED BUYING GIRL OUTFITS. NOW I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED. ALL I CAN SAY IS HANG IN THERE AND PRAY,

Well, all that makes sense - thanks Oracle!

But now onto the fun part ... Doctor #2 Conversation
Me: Hi, I was wondering if my pregnant wife could get a scan to see if the baby's a boy or girl? (It's a good thing I don't ask for a scan for myself.)
Them: How far along is she?
Me: 17 weeks - still very proud of myself and am considering giving more details like how clever I am, and how it happened, positions, etc. Don't think they want that much detail.
Them: Okay, we'll just check with the doctor.
Me: uhem, could you tell me how much that will be. Apparently my dumbass medical aid is a bit stingy.
Them: (calmly) That'll be R640.
Me: Haha Haha

That would be the most expensive piece of art we've ever bought. Alternatively, we could see it as the most expensive peep show.

What I've learnt so far: I'm definitely in the wrong photography business. Considering becoming a scanner person - but not like the ones at the airport.

Luke, I am your ...

L's been on a Star Wars Marathon lately and, as fate would have it, as she reached Star Wars: Return of the Sith(?), we had ... nothing. Ours turned out to be an animation. Theirs was a scratched DVD. And so it was only until today that she got to watch it - well it's still playing in the background.

I am slightly concerned about the effect this may be having on little Wombie. 17 weeks seems a bit young to be exposed to light-sabers, bad grammar by Yoda and the transformation of Anakin Skywalker into infamous Darth Vader (for years considered to be Dark Vaser by me, so who am I to comment on misunderstandings). If I'm confused, what will the little mite make of all this. Here's what I (don't) understand so far:

The "chosen" one becomes a traitor;

Luke falls in love with his sister (what the heck?);

Nobody ever seems to need an education;

Everyone has really cool names;

the baddies just keep attacking;

And you are so cool if you have a light-saber and an Obi-Wan Kanobi / Yoda.

I don't know, it's all just too much for me. Concerned L's going to start considering names like Jabba Desilijic Tiure, Vima-Da-Boda, Darth Nihilus and so on. Already she's hinting at Leia (?)

On the up side, I'm so excited I could almost pee myself. We're going for a scan this week and (hold-thumbs) may be able to see whether he's a she, she's a he, or what ever it may be. Great excitement fills the house. Ouma has decided that Wombie's a girl. L's parents think it's a girl. We seem about the only ones who really don't know. And that's just fine. I just hope once we know, names will begin to become more settled in our minds.

If not, who knows, we may just have a young Yoda-Obi-Wan-Anakin-Leia in our house.

What I've learnt do far: Either he has it, or she hasn't that's all I know.

If Wombie's a boy ....

So, advice to the unborn? I've been thinking about the little guy being a guy! On the side of all this, and just between you and I, I would secretly love a little boy. I know it's the stereotypical-dad-thing and I've always rebelled against such thinking, but dammit it would be cool. The thing is that I managed to write this advice for my daughter and got stumped on the son thing. Does that mean I have some gender prejudice I need to work through? Probably! The common notion is protect your daughter, toughen your son. With that in mind, here's some advice if Wombies a boy:


1. "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut" Ernest Hemingway said that and it would stand you in good stead to adhere to this piece of advice. For us the rule goes always do what you said you would - sober or drunk I don't care.


2. Find a beat! Drum it and live it! Anything else is a waste of time.


3. Bigger is not always better or faster. Remember that when you buy a car, a drink or take that job.


4. There is no replacing passion.


5. Your mom will tell you this a few times in your life, but it's worth it: Integrity is what you do when no one is watching! She's right you know.


6. Don't date unless you willing to marry her. Your uncle had this theory when we were growing up. Dating is like driving a car that's not yours. Don't screw it up!


7. I saw this and liked it:

Caption: Trust me, whatever I’m doing is not as important as you. That's cool!

8. Don't be too quick to want to leave the kid's table. You're fine just as you are!

9. Money's like rain. Some days it'll pour, and others it will dry up like the Sahara. Don't bank on it!

10. Aways have a friend. But when it comes to choosing friends, be specific, be loyal, be true. A person can be described by the friends they keep. There is nothing like a good friend, but you'll have to be one yourself.

11. Know what you believe and stand up for it. On this point, say what you have to say, then shut up. Always have a cause to fight and fight for what's right. When it comes to bullies, stand up to them. You'll only have to do it once.

12. Be quick to admit when you wrong. Apologise with sincerity, she''ll appreciate it in the long run.

13. You'll hear them say cowboys don't cry. It's a lie. You tell them to sit on a cactus and then talk to you. Your emotions are special. Be discreet with them, but don't hide them either.

14. Keep your eye on the ball. In life and in sports. Support a team, commit to them and stand by them. No booing at a game. Never! Shake the hand of your opponent - win or lose!

15. If you make a mistake, make it right and then get over it. There's no point in rehashing it. Move on!

16. Come home on your birthday. It will be an important day for your mother too!

17. Learn at least one dance move - even if it is from the movies Greace or Dirty Dancing.

17. Stand up when a girl or an adult enters the room.

18. When you speak, speak properly. No gangster language allowed. Don't shorten words or names when the original works just fine.

19. Not everything needs to be experienced to be true.

20. Reputation is built over a lifetime, but quickly lost if you not careful.

There are a thousand more lessons I hope the little one learns from us, boy or girl. I hope the important stuff doesn't get lost in translation.

What I've learnt so far: Quotes are easier to say than to live. I still know next to nothing!

If Wombie's a girl

At 15 weeks (yesterday) all is going well. L hovers between peeing and (occasionally) crying. I'm starting to think there's just too much water in her. For my part, I mostly just wonder around. It's all very surreal, but that's another post. We started discussing the upcoming "is it a boy/ is it a girl?" occasion, and that got me thinking:
What lessons would I want my daughter to learn? If I could tell her something, what would it be? So here I go (all the wisdom I have could probably fit into wombie's little pinky):
1. Don't trust boy's with fast cars, drinks with pink umbrellas, or girls who chase after boys who drink drinks with pink umbrellas. None of them are for real!
2. Shit Happens. Rather fall down, break a few plates or fail a test or two, than avoid problems. You can learn so much more from mistakes and hurt, than from avoidance.
3. There is no such thing as a normal person. We are all broken, hurt and come from really messed up families. Accept it! Expect the best from everyone, and try not to get disappointed if they let you down. It'll happen just like shit!
4. Always check there's toilet paper before you close the door in the toilet. Some embarrassment can be avoided.
5. Fall in love and marry the guy who makes you laugh, treats you like a princess and is your friend. Anyone else is just a chump and you deserve better! Let him pay for dinner, give you his jacket when it's cold, and open the car door for you. Only bring home a boy who has a ring in his pocket.
6. Choose your friends carefully - they reflect who you are! Find friends you can trust. Cherish them, be faithful to them, and always defend them. Very few people understand the real value of a friend. Quality always beats quantity. (You can learn from your mom on this one).
7. Kindness and compassion are not negotiable. They cost nothing. Never let someone else's bad behaviour change your response or behaviour.
8. Make-up and jewelry might make you look pretty on the outside, but won't help what's going on on the inside. Never let it change who you are. And on that note: I believe you should only wear make up when you in your 20's and only if you going to a fancy dress party!
9. Bono, not Jesse McCartney, Lennon's okay, not Cliff Richards, Lady Gaga in secret.
10. No alcohol, sex or drugs. No! Never! Nooit(???)!
11. Life's too short not to make the effort.
12. Never cheat. Not in tests or on people.
13. Popularity fades. Don't worry about it. "Weird" is always in!
14. No tattoos unless you in a band. No piercings unless you in a band. No funky hair unless you in a band. No being in a band! No! Never! Nooit!
15. Don't be a drama queen. No one likes it.
16. Choose a team and stick with them whether they win or lose. In our house, it's the Sharks. Don't be a sore loser. Don't rub your victory in the face of others. It's just not nice.
17. Learn to cook at least one good meal.
18. If you can't carry it, you've packed too much and probably don't need it all. Only take what you need. If 10 apples are available, you can still only eat one!
19. It's not your right! You don't have the right to very much. You do however, have a choice. Use it wisely.
20. I love you the most. I might mess up, hurt you, say the wrong thing, act insensitive, not listen when I should, say "no" when I should have said"yes", but it's all just my way of saying, I love you!

Well, let's see how this one works for us!
What I've learnt so far: I actually don't know very much - so what the heck am I passing on advice for? But I saw this on another site. Hope it's true:

My child, if as a baby you were sometimes comforted by my loving care, and if your heart preserves the memory of those moments, I hope you will place your trust in this advice, which is prompted by my love for you, and that it will help you to be happy.
Advice to My Daughter (1794) Marie Jean Antoine Nicolas Caritat, Marquis de Condorcet (French Philosopher)

Is it destiny?

Or is it just a little bit funny?

This photo is a part of our calendar written on the 4th March this year by L. It was when we had just started trying for a baby and were both so unsure of what lay ahead. Not sure how long it would take? A month, a year, who knew if it would happen at all? All we had was love - a constant theme in our lives. We love each other and we love God. Apart from that we had nothing. So we embarked on this process of love.

I saw this the other day and was amazed. Some would call it destiny or fate or irony. I think it's God's sense of humour. We plan and plot everything and think we are so in control. But when it came to having a baby, we were out of depth. All we could do was stay in love and wait.

We we didn't have to wait too long. God blessed us again and baby is due on ... the 4th /5th March 2010.

What I'e learnt so far: “I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.” Douglas Adams

Curly Sue

I'm bald - by choice! I make no excuses for it. Well maybe a few: I have REALLY curly hair. Like the un-naturally curly type. Growing up I was always so self-conscious about it. Thinking about it, some of my hang-ups (and I have many) come from my hair issues. And yes, those are real issues even for a guy. And L has curly hair. Although her's is that beautiful, natural looking kind. So here's my dilemma:
What is the chance that Wombie will escape curly hair?
Not great!
What if this somehow, via that psychological mishap that all parents are doomed to screw up their kids, I pass on these issues to Wombie? That's just not cool. But here's the real kicker: I am already in love with this growing invader. There doesn't seem to be much that can change that. I may be wrong, but that's how I feel now. So here's my list (bald and all): I want to be:
1. The best lover, husband, friend of L;
2. A picture of real love to Wombie - a safe place to run.
3.
Well that's about it. I might have curly hair, and I may be bald for now. I have self-confidence issues, fear of failure issues, God-issues, and many more. But I'm learning that love is what makes it all okay. L shows me that daily. Maybe a piece of that love will help Wombie grow into who God made him/her to be. That would be the best.
What I've learnt so far: Being sick sucks! But it sure helps knowing it'll pass with a few drugs.