The boyfriends guide to pregnancy

That's what needs to be written. Although with a title like that we could land up in a heap of trouble. But heck, it needs to be done. A guys guide of what to expect, but with only the essential details.
L finished reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy and enthusiastically encouraged me to do the same; what was she thinking? Her reasoning: it would explain a lot.
What she failed to consider was that some things should just remain a mystery. Here is my list of what I don't think I should have found out (note I only read the first and last chapter): The girlfriends say:
1. Breastfeeding is like having an orgasm (not an association I needed to make).
2. Delivery is a scary &@%£ thing!
3. Your forgetfulness won't go away and may even get worse.
4. No sex for who knows how long after Wombie comes along - although we'll make a plan.
5. L's nipples are changing "pigmentation" (as the GF's call it).
I stopped reading for sanity's sake. It's not that I don't want to know about stuff. I just don't want to know stuff that applies to women in general. There is stuff L will experience that's fine and I wanna know about, but when it comes to associating it with all the GF's across the world, I tend to start to backstroke my way out!
For now I know all I can handle:
1. L's doing great -sore legs and back, tiredness, grumpiness, forgetfulness (and more tiredness) aside;
2. Wombies moving around and growing. I'm sure the little ones a little too comfy in there (legs up on the spleen, cushioned against other precious organs).
It's getting time for Wombie to just settle in for the next 17 or so weeks and, well grow, grow, grow. Weighing in at about 500 grams, he /she has about 3 kg's more to go and so I'm considering singing my own little lullaby (to the tune of Nkosi Sikelel' iafrica):
Sit back and relax my little one
Push against your mother's bla-a-da
Kick and kick and kick so we will know
You can play ru-u-ugby!
You can play ru-u-ugby!
Well, I'm no lyricist so that will just have to do for now.
What I've learnt so far: Way too much about women things!