Day: Thursday, 17th December 2009
Place: Manaba Beach (actually it’s Bianca No. 7)
Listening to: Jesus Culture (and loving it)
… Do you remember when you’d write letters in school and start them like that? Mood … happy … I love … someone … heheee …
Anyway, L and I are away on holiday at the beach and having an amazingly relaxing time just enjoying ourselves and our last holiday alone. We’re constantly saying, “Next year this time we’ll be …” fill in the blanks with something to do with our little bundle of joy that should arrive soon. It’s the most bizarre thing and I don’t think we’ve done it since getting married. But it is very exciting.
I keep imagining us on the beach, with our little girl, looking like those happy people you see in the magazines and it got me thinking, “Will she make us happy? Does having her on holiday with us next year somehow make us happier?” It is so easy to fall into the trap of everything being about our little girl – and forgetting about LBW (life before Wombie). I don’t want to forget. I want to remember that:
· We were best friends; before we married and while we were married.
· We laughed so hard we cried.
· We fought (until I even kicked the car to prove a point).
· We could sit alone in silence and feel like the only two people on earth.
· We could talk into the early hours of the morning (and later into marriage until we fell asleep).
· Making love was the most amazing experience (PERIOD)!
We have a life and I love it. I hope and pray that our little girl will be a part of that life. That she will benefit from being around two people who loved and liked each other. That “this time next year” she will be a part of something that already existed and flourished and was fun and hard at the same time.
What I’ve learnt so far:
Date: Thursday, 17th December
Place: Manaba Beach
Time: 19:21
Listening to: Kim Walker (Jesus Culture)
Mood: So stoked
Thinking of: You
In love with: You and only you
Just wanted to say: In about 9 – 11 weeks you and I will have a beautiful little girl! I love you so much. See you in English or Maths (Yuck)!
Wha wha wha
Friday, 25th December 2009
‘twas the night before Christmas and … well not exactly. It is Christmas and all is going well. Well, not exactly … although it is Christmas it doesn’t feel like it. There’s a Christmasy feel that just isn’t here. L woke up with a sore throat this morning, it’s raining outside, and the usually Chistmasy feel just isn’t here. Not that that is a bad thing … after all, we don’t celebrate Christmas.
But it got me to thinking, as tends to happen lately for some bizarre reason. I remember Christmas growing up was a day that was so different to every other day the year, even birthdays. It was always hot. It was always loud. It was always chaotic.
Christmas was a day when we all got together. Not just brothers and sisters, but EVERYONE! It was a strange mix of people. There were of course the seven of us, and the seven from my dad’s sister’s side. But added to this were the Ellis’s (the two brats, the very loud aunt and the scary uncle who pinched bums inappropriately – although they didn’t always come) and my alcoholic grandmother (who was usually pissed by the time lunch was served) and my dad’s other two brothers (who drank just as much and were even me inappropriate), and then other people/relatives (who knew what they really were). We’d go to church in the morning (us and the other seven) and they’d get the party started early.
This I mostly remember from the time we came to South Africa until I was about ten, so there weren’t too many but they stood out for me. I can’t tell you what I got from Santa, or what we had for lunch. I can’t tell you what we did, or what was said. But I remember it all! I remember the people, all talking, laughing, telling stories and later, when enough alcohol had been consumed, the arguing. I have the memories and they are special.
There is something amazing about growing up together; fighting, laughing and living it up. I want this for our daughter. Not the hype over Christmas, or the stories of a magic-man in a red coat that brings presents, or the pagan believes. But I was the memories whoever creates them. I want the days where chaos reigns and people o stupid things and kids play together and everyone goes home exhausted (relieved they don’t have to see each for another year).
I miss those hot Christmas days where memories were made.
So … watch this space. I’ll be making big plans (my own celebrations may not be baby appropriate, but what the heck!).
What I’ve learnt so far: Dammit but the due date is getting close!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
We're having a ...
wonderful, little girl and that has scared me so!
What a day we had just getting to that point. Miss Destructive (a.k.a L) took it upon herself to damage the couch, the bathroom door (and previously in the week the towel rack). N on purpose, of course, but the culmination of the breakages, an e-mail from her brother, the empty petrol tank, and the impending scan caused a all meltdown in L. But on we drove, determined to see little Wombie (who may be little Ella-Reece/Rhys), L in tears beside me. Could the day get any worse. Yes it can!
Got to the doctors room, where ever-friendly Debbie (the scan-lady-with-the-magic-and) kept us waiting, then doctor had to go catch a baby and he kept us waiting, then lost in the hospital and kept waiting some more. But it was so worth it!
When we got to see he 4D scan our hearts just melted. There was the most beautiful face, and stomach, and feet, and hands I have ever seen. And 90% certain we're having a little girl. It was so overwhelming.
I struggle to imagine being a father, let alone a father to a little princess. All the things that could possible go wrong consume me. And yet, I am over the moon. To soon be her daddy! To hold this precious gift and know that I will stand in the way of anything that ever wanted t hurt her (I may be 90 years old, but I'll still kick his ass). To know that she will love me no matter what! Like I said, very overwhelming.
L's just come home, so .... gotta run!
What I've learnt so far: no matter how bad the day is, seeing her makes my heart skip a beat!
What a day we had just getting to that point. Miss Destructive (a.k.a L) took it upon herself to damage the couch, the bathroom door (and previously in the week the towel rack). N on purpose, of course, but the culmination of the breakages, an e-mail from her brother, the empty petrol tank, and the impending scan caused a all meltdown in L. But on we drove, determined to see little Wombie (who may be little Ella-Reece/Rhys), L in tears beside me. Could the day get any worse. Yes it can!
Got to the doctors room, where ever-friendly Debbie (the scan-lady-with-the-magic-and) kept us waiting, then doctor had to go catch a baby and he kept us waiting, then lost in the hospital and kept waiting some more. But it was so worth it!
When we got to see he 4D scan our hearts just melted. There was the most beautiful face, and stomach, and feet, and hands I have ever seen. And 90% certain we're having a little girl. It was so overwhelming.
I struggle to imagine being a father, let alone a father to a little princess. All the things that could possible go wrong consume me. And yet, I am over the moon. To soon be her daddy! To hold this precious gift and know that I will stand in the way of anything that ever wanted t hurt her (I may be 90 years old, but I'll still kick his ass). To know that she will love me no matter what! Like I said, very overwhelming.
L's just come home, so .... gotta run!
What I've learnt so far: no matter how bad the day is, seeing her makes my heart skip a beat!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Oh dear
Things have been so so hectic that I just haven't had time to be here (or there for that matter). But a quick update:
1. We are in the house;
2. Boxes keep popping out of thin air (bizarre??)
3. Only one more sleep until school closes and we're free;
4. Only two more sleeps until we MIGHT be able to see if Wombie is a he/she. But we'll defintely get to see the little one again;
5. L is growing and looking beautiful (happy B-day btw);
6. We love our new house!
But I've got a few minutes until I have to be at school and this is what has tickled us pink over the last few days. These are actual testimonial comments written by our wonderful teachers:
ZB- She is a bit reserved also hard working at the same time. Has great a potential to do well in whatever she puts her mind on (put her mind on??? hmmmm ... and what's with great-a?)
NB – She is a pour (hahahaaa ) time manager , has a lot of potential and energy just needs to focus on it.
YP- Demonstrates a sod sense of humor and a high level of self esteem. (Don't we all have a "sod sense of humour" - spell it out Pillay!!!)
And our favourite:
NB – She showed a positive attitude towards he school work despite her lack of interest in it. (There are so many problems with that statement, not the least being she became a he during it!)
Oh well, it made us giggle. We're still not finished with the testimonials and so there may be a few more gems in (or is it on?) there somewhere.
What I've learnt so far:
Ok! SO WHAT IS JUNIOR LOOKING LIKE?
Your little one’s head is much more in proportion to the rest of the body – looking pretty much the same as when he or “she” shall be born.
Vernix is now covering the little body – this is a creamy layer that is there to protect the skin. As you can imagine the little body is constantly immersed in the amniotic fluid.
Length should be around 25cm (from crown to rump) and the weight is probably around 1.1kg.
The bones are beginning to harden.
Hair may be growing on the little head.
Hearing is rather good at present.
The little eyes can now open and close.
What can junior do?
Responds to stimuli, even sound, light and pain.
Your little one may even suck it’s thumb or finger.
Sense of taste is very strong.
Hiccups are a common one. It is said that these are probably caused by the baby “practicing” breathing movements.
All too amazing to believe – you have a real little being inside of you – enjoy this time – it’s precious!!!
From one of the e-mails I get! Can't believe we're counting down the weeks!
1. We are in the house;
2. Boxes keep popping out of thin air (bizarre??)
3. Only one more sleep until school closes and we're free;
4. Only two more sleeps until we MIGHT be able to see if Wombie is a he/she. But we'll defintely get to see the little one again;
5. L is growing and looking beautiful (happy B-day btw);
6. We love our new house!
But I've got a few minutes until I have to be at school and this is what has tickled us pink over the last few days. These are actual testimonial comments written by our wonderful teachers:
ZB- She is a bit reserved also hard working at the same time. Has great a potential to do well in whatever she puts her mind on (put her mind on??? hmmmm ... and what's with great-a?)
NB – She is a pour (hahahaaa ) time manager , has a lot of potential and energy just needs to focus on it.
YP- Demonstrates a sod sense of humor and a high level of self esteem. (Don't we all have a "sod sense of humour" - spell it out Pillay!!!)
And our favourite:
NB – She showed a positive attitude towards he school work despite her lack of interest in it. (There are so many problems with that statement, not the least being she became a he during it!)
Oh well, it made us giggle. We're still not finished with the testimonials and so there may be a few more gems in (or is it on?) there somewhere.
What I've learnt so far:
Ok! SO WHAT IS JUNIOR LOOKING LIKE?
Your little one’s head is much more in proportion to the rest of the body – looking pretty much the same as when he or “she” shall be born.
Vernix is now covering the little body – this is a creamy layer that is there to protect the skin. As you can imagine the little body is constantly immersed in the amniotic fluid.
Length should be around 25cm (from crown to rump) and the weight is probably around 1.1kg.
The bones are beginning to harden.
Hair may be growing on the little head.
Hearing is rather good at present.
The little eyes can now open and close.
What can junior do?
Responds to stimuli, even sound, light and pain.
Your little one may even suck it’s thumb or finger.
Sense of taste is very strong.
Hiccups are a common one. It is said that these are probably caused by the baby “practicing” breathing movements.
All too amazing to believe – you have a real little being inside of you – enjoy this time – it’s precious!!!
From one of the e-mails I get! Can't believe we're counting down the weeks!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Next project:World Peace
It's crisis time in the L and S-D-W-B's household with Wombie laughing his ass off at his/her over-stressed paranoid parents. To make the time EVEN MORE FUN, L and I are moving house in only two sleeps time. So right now it's: pack pack pack, eat eat eat (and sleep sleep sleep, but only for me as L has taken to napping like a bat).
It feels like a crazy time to be doing all this: pregnancy, exams, end of year schedules, etc. but it also feels so right. L keeps saying that if someone had told her at the beginning of the year that she'd be pregnant and moving she'd would've laughed at them. Well, who's laughing now? Maybe all this is tapping into my childhood love of boxes and fortresses, maybe it's the nurturing, animalistic nature in us, maybe it's just plain stupidity, but I don't care - it's fun! We have most of the house packed into boxes, but it looks more like an overflowing bathtub than a packed house ready to be moved. Stuff just keeps spilling out of the strangest places, and try as we may the house will just not empty (dammit).
Then we have the beauty of TIFA (This is *&^%ing Africa) and all bureaucratic stupidity must make a grand entrance at some point or other. Electricity is not simply something that turns on a light. No, no my friend. It is a Cecilia that sits big and plump behind a desk with her Chicken lunch (not the salad type) in hand and says with her eyes, "What can you do for me?" And how L loves a challenge. This little experience nearly resulted in us quitting the move and becoming squatters in our current residence. But, I digress!
Last night was one of those beautiful, romantic moments that rarely happen in this life. L and I went to the new house to receive the keys (the "hand-over" they call it). With all the joy of a 5-year-old at Christmas, we walked through the empty house, hand in hand, and then set the alarm (TIFA) and then strolled round the garden. Unbeknown to us (until just before it happened), we had only two minutes to get out the yard before the alarm went off. And so before we knew it, sirens were blaring and I was struggling to get back into the house. And would you know it, I broke the key. Of course! All romanticised memories quickly vanished and this left L plonked down on the step of her beautiful new house. Oh well!
Come Monday, Wombie and L will have a home and it is a beautiful one. Come what may, we'll take it in our stride. L's soldiering through and convincing me daily that she must surely be English (stiff upper lip and all).
Now for my next trick, I just need to get her to sleep the night through. Once I've accomplished that, it's off to war torn Africa to begin bringing World Peace.
What I've learnt so far: Hair growing began this morning and a change in hairstyle isn't as good as a holiday!
It feels like a crazy time to be doing all this: pregnancy, exams, end of year schedules, etc. but it also feels so right. L keeps saying that if someone had told her at the beginning of the year that she'd be pregnant and moving she'd would've laughed at them. Well, who's laughing now? Maybe all this is tapping into my childhood love of boxes and fortresses, maybe it's the nurturing, animalistic nature in us, maybe it's just plain stupidity, but I don't care - it's fun! We have most of the house packed into boxes, but it looks more like an overflowing bathtub than a packed house ready to be moved. Stuff just keeps spilling out of the strangest places, and try as we may the house will just not empty (dammit).
Then we have the beauty of TIFA (This is *&^%ing Africa) and all bureaucratic stupidity must make a grand entrance at some point or other. Electricity is not simply something that turns on a light. No, no my friend. It is a Cecilia that sits big and plump behind a desk with her Chicken lunch (not the salad type) in hand and says with her eyes, "What can you do for me?" And how L loves a challenge. This little experience nearly resulted in us quitting the move and becoming squatters in our current residence. But, I digress!
Last night was one of those beautiful, romantic moments that rarely happen in this life. L and I went to the new house to receive the keys (the "hand-over" they call it). With all the joy of a 5-year-old at Christmas, we walked through the empty house, hand in hand, and then set the alarm (TIFA) and then strolled round the garden. Unbeknown to us (until just before it happened), we had only two minutes to get out the yard before the alarm went off. And so before we knew it, sirens were blaring and I was struggling to get back into the house. And would you know it, I broke the key. Of course! All romanticised memories quickly vanished and this left L plonked down on the step of her beautiful new house. Oh well!
Come Monday, Wombie and L will have a home and it is a beautiful one. Come what may, we'll take it in our stride. L's soldiering through and convincing me daily that she must surely be English (stiff upper lip and all).
Now for my next trick, I just need to get her to sleep the night through. Once I've accomplished that, it's off to war torn Africa to begin bringing World Peace.
What I've learnt so far: Hair growing began this morning and a change in hairstyle isn't as good as a holiday!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Boxes and varnish
L and I are working our backsides off getting ready for the move - seven days to go. Between the boxes and packing and marking (it's an exam cycle of course), I've tackled two tables to sand and varnish! What an experience.
The cool thing was that the whole time I was sanding (looking manly) and varnishing (looking dirty) I could only think of one thing: This is for L and Wombie. Cool little things like my finger print would land up on the varnish (by accident), or I'd leave a piece un-sanded that only I know of. Little hidden treasures of a project I wanted to do for them.
It's so strange but that is how I find myself thinking lately: what can I hide for them to find at a later stage. Very nostalgic, I know. But hey, this is my blog and I can nostalgia (???) if I so choose (and make up words too it seems).
But back to the tables - I had this constant sense of how these things create memories. Be they my own or memories we will one day make with the as-yet-unborn-one! But they're there and they're ours and no one can take that away!
L is starting to sleep like Wombie's already been born and it's so bizarre. Last night, Wombie and L seemed to be playing their own game at 1am and that was L for the night. Walked through this morning to find her passed out on the couch and all I could think was, "What did I miss and will it happen again?" But new tricks aside, L is growing and Wombie's sitting back and enjoying the ride.
As for the new house (seven days to go) there is still so much to do and Wombie's new room just has to be perfect, or close to it depending on how tired we are. It's bizarre but the thought of accumulating yet more stuff sends cold shivers down my spine and leaves me wondering if the bank is likely to continue handing out cash or will they soon lock me up. Still on the list to do:
1. paint the changing-table;
2. paint the nursery;
3. fetch the cot;
4. find a rocking-chair (of course)
5. buy 1 x pram;
6. buy 1 x camp-cot (like the little buggar's going to want to camp already);
7. buy a shit load of baby stuff (nappies, bottles, dummy, clothes, toys, etc);
8. oh and set up the new house - including unpacking the shit load that Wombie already owns.
And with L at 25 weeks this should be fun, but what the hell we've never done a normal thing before. Let the packing begin.
What I've learnt so far: (1) L finds me irresistible in my torn, dirty old jeans. Cool! (2) Wombie may be Ella-Rhys if he's a she! Could this be the name?
The cool thing was that the whole time I was sanding (looking manly) and varnishing (looking dirty) I could only think of one thing: This is for L and Wombie. Cool little things like my finger print would land up on the varnish (by accident), or I'd leave a piece un-sanded that only I know of. Little hidden treasures of a project I wanted to do for them.
It's so strange but that is how I find myself thinking lately: what can I hide for them to find at a later stage. Very nostalgic, I know. But hey, this is my blog and I can nostalgia (???) if I so choose (and make up words too it seems).
But back to the tables - I had this constant sense of how these things create memories. Be they my own or memories we will one day make with the as-yet-unborn-one! But they're there and they're ours and no one can take that away!
L is starting to sleep like Wombie's already been born and it's so bizarre. Last night, Wombie and L seemed to be playing their own game at 1am and that was L for the night. Walked through this morning to find her passed out on the couch and all I could think was, "What did I miss and will it happen again?" But new tricks aside, L is growing and Wombie's sitting back and enjoying the ride.
As for the new house (seven days to go) there is still so much to do and Wombie's new room just has to be perfect, or close to it depending on how tired we are. It's bizarre but the thought of accumulating yet more stuff sends cold shivers down my spine and leaves me wondering if the bank is likely to continue handing out cash or will they soon lock me up. Still on the list to do:
1. paint the changing-table;
2. paint the nursery;
3. fetch the cot;
4. find a rocking-chair (of course)
5. buy 1 x pram;
6. buy 1 x camp-cot (like the little buggar's going to want to camp already);
7. buy a shit load of baby stuff (nappies, bottles, dummy, clothes, toys, etc);
8. oh and set up the new house - including unpacking the shit load that Wombie already owns.
And with L at 25 weeks this should be fun, but what the hell we've never done a normal thing before. Let the packing begin.
What I've learnt so far: (1) L finds me irresistible in my torn, dirty old jeans. Cool! (2) Wombie may be Ella-Rhys if he's a she! Could this be the name?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
CONTACT!
Last night! It happened!
The night before Wombie turned 24 weeks!
As we lay in bed, me half asleep, L getting there slowly!
WOMBIE KICKED!!! And kicked some more! and kicked some more!
And even better - I felt it right in the palm of my hand. This small tap from the inside coming up and meeting my hand!
It was so amazing that I really don't have words to describe it.
My wife and baby amaze me!
What I've learnt so far: Wombie must like my songs or the national anthem.
The night before Wombie turned 24 weeks!
As we lay in bed, me half asleep, L getting there slowly!
WOMBIE KICKED!!! And kicked some more! and kicked some more!
And even better - I felt it right in the palm of my hand. This small tap from the inside coming up and meeting my hand!
It was so amazing that I really don't have words to describe it.
My wife and baby amaze me!
What I've learnt so far: Wombie must like my songs or the national anthem.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The boyfriends guide to pregnancy
That's what needs to be written. Although with a title like that we could land up in a heap of trouble. But heck, it needs to be done. A guys guide of what to expect, but with only the essential details.
L finished reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy and enthusiastically encouraged me to do the same; what was she thinking? Her reasoning: it would explain a lot.
What she failed to consider was that some things should just remain a mystery. Here is my list of what I don't think I should have found out (note I only read the first and last chapter): The girlfriends say:
1. Breastfeeding is like having an orgasm (not an association I needed to make).
2. Delivery is a scary &@%£ thing!
3. Your forgetfulness won't go away and may even get worse.
4. No sex for who knows how long after Wombie comes along - although we'll make a plan.
5. L's nipples are changing "pigmentation" (as the GF's call it).
I stopped reading for sanity's sake. It's not that I don't want to know about stuff. I just don't want to know stuff that applies to women in general. There is stuff L will experience that's fine and I wanna know about, but when it comes to associating it with all the GF's across the world, I tend to start to backstroke my way out!
For now I know all I can handle:
1. L's doing great -sore legs and back, tiredness, grumpiness, forgetfulness (and more tiredness) aside;
2. Wombies moving around and growing. I'm sure the little ones a little too comfy in there (legs up on the spleen, cushioned against other precious organs).
It's getting time for Wombie to just settle in for the next 17 or so weeks and, well grow, grow, grow. Weighing in at about 500 grams, he /she has about 3 kg's more to go and so I'm considering singing my own little lullaby (to the tune of Nkosi Sikelel' iafrica):
Sit back and relax my little one
Push against your mother's bla-a-da
Kick and kick and kick so we will know
You can play ru-u-ugby!
You can play ru-u-ugby!
Well, I'm no lyricist so that will just have to do for now.
What I've learnt so far: Way too much about women things!
L finished reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy and enthusiastically encouraged me to do the same; what was she thinking? Her reasoning: it would explain a lot.
What she failed to consider was that some things should just remain a mystery. Here is my list of what I don't think I should have found out (note I only read the first and last chapter): The girlfriends say:
1. Breastfeeding is like having an orgasm (not an association I needed to make).
2. Delivery is a scary &@%£ thing!
3. Your forgetfulness won't go away and may even get worse.
4. No sex for who knows how long after Wombie comes along - although we'll make a plan.
5. L's nipples are changing "pigmentation" (as the GF's call it).
I stopped reading for sanity's sake. It's not that I don't want to know about stuff. I just don't want to know stuff that applies to women in general. There is stuff L will experience that's fine and I wanna know about, but when it comes to associating it with all the GF's across the world, I tend to start to backstroke my way out!
For now I know all I can handle:
1. L's doing great -sore legs and back, tiredness, grumpiness, forgetfulness (and more tiredness) aside;
2. Wombies moving around and growing. I'm sure the little ones a little too comfy in there (legs up on the spleen, cushioned against other precious organs).
It's getting time for Wombie to just settle in for the next 17 or so weeks and, well grow, grow, grow. Weighing in at about 500 grams, he /she has about 3 kg's more to go and so I'm considering singing my own little lullaby (to the tune of Nkosi Sikelel' iafrica):
Sit back and relax my little one
Push against your mother's bla-a-da
Kick and kick and kick so we will know
You can play ru-u-ugby!
You can play ru-u-ugby!
Well, I'm no lyricist so that will just have to do for now.
What I've learnt so far: Way too much about women things!
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